Reading the petition, so many questions arise, and I'm sure these have come up for the authors, too. For one, I have so often been harmed by toxic regular-old straight men (and when I say "regular" I mean the *most* basic men--you can picture it, I'm sure), who have groped me, catcalled me, threatened me, called me names, blocked my way on the street so I could not pass, stalked me, and so on. I would like them banned from all public places (again, just the cisgendered, desperate hetero ones who make me feel afraid in places that should be, you know, safe for women and would be if there were no men who think of themselves as men and behave as men and are the worst sort of men), so that I feel safer and can more comfortably exercise my freedom as a woman. This is basic harm reduction, in my view. I will start working on that petition. 

And, also, it is so hard to know when an athlete gets hurt playing a sport exactly what caused it, most times. It could be because it's, like, a sport and so getting hurt happens.(Personally, I recommend never doing them, but that's hard with children, for sure. But, honestly, sports are the worst no matter who is playing them, am I right? It’s cool that you’re trying to ruin them for everyone.) It could also be because a player was too aggressive, like the time a young girl knocked the out of my wimpy little son during a soccer game, and he left with a bruised ego more than anything else. It wasn't a fair fight, of course, as he does truly suck at soccer. A good lesson for him, it was: girls play sports, too, and sometimes they will be a lot better than you precisely because they know how to take the ing ball. Or it could just be that some little girls suck at sports and are kind of babies, and so more likely to get hurt, and here I think about myself, and I sympathize. 

And another thought I had is this, and I'm sure you agree, dear petitioners: while we are worried about girls' and women's safety, we might also ban all of the current and future lesbians from locker rooms, bathrooms, and so on. But then it's going to be pretty hard to get that girls' high school softball team together, but I'm sure you'll figure something out without the queers. 

Finally, I am so relieved, too, because my super butch dyke of a girlfriend is going to feel a lot safer going into the women's bathroom now, knowing she won't be harassed by trans women, and can just really be comfortable--you know, getting naked in the locker room, using the bathroom like all the other ladies, really appreciating the safety and sacredness of the woman-only space, talking about periods and so on with all of her straight sisters, who she loves and adores so much. Worships, even. She was never into being a dude. Just a hardcore lesbian who loves to sleep with women. I, too, am really looking forward to this female-bonding. I love all women, and can't wait to be alone with them in the bathroom.

Thank you for keeping our children safe, and all of us. And reminding us that sex/gender/sexuality is so easy-breezy and straightforward in the year 2025. I'll see you in the bathroom soon. Can't wait! 

Good lookin' out!