Re: 8VAC20-781-490 Diapering and toileting

I respectfully request that the new childcare regulations expressly prohibit the practice of mandatory “potty training” in children under age 4 years. This practice currently is very widespread, unfortunately. As a parent, I searched high and low for a place that would allow child-led toilet learning, which typically unfolds during the third year of life, and I found exactly two options in Charlottesville. The vast majority of centers/providers move children to the “3yo room” on their third birthday, and they are expected to toilet independently by that age.

This is a wildly inappropriate expectation and requirement, and it leads to significant stress on families. More importantly, it leads to undo stress on the child to acquire a skill before they are fully ready. As a family practice dietitian, I see the fallout frequently: Children who are “potty trained” before they are fully ready—so often because their parents had no choice to do so due to childcare requirements—often end up chronically constipated due to withholding. Then as 5, 6, 7 year olds, they start having bowel and bladder accidents, often requiring extensive use of laxatives to solve a problem that could have been avoided by giving them more time to toilet when they were ready.

This toilet-by-three rule is, as far as I can tell, completely arbitrary. It creates lasting problems for families and young children, up to and including medical problems that require long term intervention to fix. Please disallow this practice and let kids stay in diapers until they show readiness.