General comments: I strongly believe it is important to write instructions in a clear, concise manner and write as if you were simply speaking to the reader rather than using bureaucratic language.

Application form instructions:

Instructions section: 

1. Currently:

You can apply to register to vote online: elections.virginia.gov/register. Use this form to register to vote in Virginia or report a change in name or address. If you are already registered with your current name and address, you do not need to re-register. You are not o­ffcially registered to vote until this application is approved. You should receive confirmation of your voter registration status in the mail. If you do not receive confirmation within thirty (30) days after submitting this form or have questions, please contact your local voter registration o­ffce or the Virginia Department of Elections toll free (800) 522-9745 • TTY 711. You may check your voter registration status online at vote.virginia.gov.

 Recommended:

You can apply to register to vote in Virginia or report a change in name or address either online at www.elections.virginia.gov/register or by using this form. If you are already registered with your current name and address, you do not need to re-register. You are not registered to vote until this application is approved. You should receive confirmation of your voter registration status in the mail within 30 days. If you do not, or if you have questions, contact your local voter registration office or the Virginia Department of Elections toll free (800) 522-9745 • TTY 711. You may check your voter registration status online at www.vote.virginia.gov.

 Notes:

• The original first two sentences are confusing and unclear.
• You’re either registered or not registered. You’re not either “officially” registered or “unofficially” registered.
• I suggest that “www” be used before URLs to differentiate them, or underline the URLs without adding the www.
• If someone can read this form and instructions, then they can read the numerals 30 as well, so also don’t need to see the number spelled out! Grammar rules stipulate that numbers over ten should be written as numerals.

 2. Currently:

Attention: Overseas citizens, uniformed service voters, qualifying spouses and dependents: those individuals may register and request absentee ballots using a single federal form, the Federal Post Card Application (FPCA), available at www.fvap.gov.

 Recommended:

Attention: Overseas citizens, uniformed service voters, and qualifying spouses and dependents may register and request absentee ballots using a federal form, the Federal Post Card Application (FPCA), available at www.fvap.gov.

 Notes:

• The double colons are awkward and not necessary.
• “Single” before “form” could be read to mean that all family members may register on a single form, and is not needed in the sentence since “form” is singular.
• Because “qualifying spouses and dependents” is a single phrase, “and” is needed before “qualifying” in the list of the UOCAVA voters.

 3. Currently:

WARNING: INTENTIONALLY VOTING MORE THAN ONCE IN AN ELECTION OR MAKING A MATERIALLY FALSE STATEMENT ON THIS FORM CONSTITUTES THE CRIME OF ELECTION FRAUD, WHICH IS PUNISHABLE UNDER VIRGINIA LAW AS A FELONY. VIOLATORS MAY BE SENTENCED TO UP TO 10 YEARS IN PRISON, OR UP TO 12 MONTHS IN JAIL AND/OR FINED UP TO $2,500

Recommended:

Warning: Intentionally voting more than once in an election or making a materially false statement on this form constitutes the crime of election fraud, which is punishable under Virginia law as a felony. Violators may be sentenced to up to 10 years in prison, or up to 12 months in jail and/or fined up to $2,500

• Text in all-caps is difficult to read--more difficult than normal sentence text, and nowdays is interpreted at yelling. Since our goal should be to communicate effectively and remove or minimize obstacles between the information and our audience, I strongly suggest that text in all caps should be avoided on all SBE forms, except of course for acronyms. Bold or color other than black is sufficient to attract attention.
• A UOCAVA voter of course may vote as many times as he/she wants, using FWABs. What are UOCAVA voter to think when they read this statement -- that they are breaking the law by submitting a ballot issued to them as well as a FWAB?

 Address Requirements:

1. Currently:

All applicants must provide a street address/description of their physical dwelling place for residence address in Box 2. If that address is not serviced by the U.S. Postal Service, the applicant is authorized to list a mailing address. Overseas citizens, uniformed service voters, qualifying spouses and dependents may also list a mailing address. No other applicant may include a mailing address unless the applicant qualifies as a protected voter. See below. A qualified protected voter is required to list a post o­ffice box within Virginia as a mailing address in Box 2, please see below.

Recommended:

You must provide a street address or, in the absence of an address, a description of your physical dwelling place, for residence address in Box 2. If your residence is not serviced by the U.S. Postal Service, then you are authorized to also list a mailing address. Overseas citizens, uniformed service voters, and qualifying spouses and dependents may list a mailing address. Otherwise, you may only include a non-resident mailing address Box 2 if you qualify for protected voter status, and list a post office box within Virginia. Please see below.

 Comments:

• The first instructions address the reader personally, as “you.” I suggest that is best and that we continue in that style. Additionally, it’s important to be consistent throughout the document.

(To be continued!)